Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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