The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I had to cum in my sink.
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