I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
