He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
