im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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