His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
