Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I'm just crazy horny about you
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Randomize
