Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
