dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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