oh god the rape fog is back!
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
jump out the window naked night went bad
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
