Got a toothbrush?
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
