I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
So I just went to clothing optional bar
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