Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
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