Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(858): View more from California

She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.

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(519): View more from Ontario

Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.

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(561): View more from Florida

I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."

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(810): View more from Michigan

I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.

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(404): View more from Georgia

When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.

(706): View more from Georgia

I hope you did not try this.

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(218): View more from Minnesota

Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?

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(240): View more from Maryland

Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?

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(317): View more from Indiana

Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.

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