Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
