Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
