addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
