This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
