If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
