I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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