I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
birth control should be required to get into college
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize