mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
