it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
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