The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
