I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
There's always time for handjobs
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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