did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
She even gives head with a lisp.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
