I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
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