we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
