Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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