yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
