I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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