i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
