Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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