your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
