So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
