so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
try to milk me bitch
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