why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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