Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
