I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
