no, he came in my armpit
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
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