Duck Duck Cougar?
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Randomize
