I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
