yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
