so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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