If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
