he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
This is classic penis vs brain.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
