Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
