I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
