it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
