508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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