hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
