Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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