My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Randomize
