saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize