remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
