he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
