But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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