oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Randomize
