My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
