we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
