I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Randomize
