Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
