do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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