Well apparently he's into motor boating.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
