Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
